You Are Worthy of a Beautiful Portrait… and More

Something I hear a lot is a person does not want pictures because they do not think they will look good in them. I hear anxiety about this in the studio. I hear anxiety about this in the portrait selection session. In fact just over a week ago I was showing a client their pictures and they stated ‘wow, those aren’t bad’. I smiled back and told the client I loved hearing that my pictures ‘aren’t bad’. The client quickly qualified they were talking about themselves.

It is my personal goal to help a client feel as comfortable as possible in front of the camera to be themselves. If I can manage to get a client in the studio, the situation mentioned above repeats itself- a lot. Why are we so surprised that we might have good pictures of ourselves? Why do people eliminate themselves before they even give themselves the opportunity? And in general- why might we feel not worthy of other things in life? Worthy of great relationships, worthy of success, worthy of love.

Principle: What You Think Generally Manifests

I know someone that has been through several jobs. And I noticed a trend. They would enter a job and be quick to start complaining and note everything they thought was wrong or unfair about the job and quickly be asked to leave the job. Conversely I remember someone telling me about a famous person once would tell himself that they had truckloads of gold coming to them. Well if I heard this correctly… this person is Tony Robbins

Perhaps you are thinking- that doesn’t correlate at all. But truly if you are picking at what is wrong, that is all you see. If you are thinking that everything is expensive and money is hard to come by that is where your thinking will lead you. This happens because our actions are based on what we are thinking and feeling.

In the studio I personally try to get you away from worrying about being in front of the camera. I try to get away from you worrying about what you look like and just having fun. We plan your session ahead of time so we can get to know each other and you know what is going to happen. This action then leads to more relaxation on the day of the shoot.

You Are More Than What Society Says

Society has a lens (a lens, get it? ha ha)…. but really they do have a lens. They have a lens of what is beautiful, who is on the A list and who is not. There are several narratives to the tune that if you have a certain characteristic this means that you are this way. If you have had this type of experience or choice, that means you are a certain type person. I recently met a person that has been sober for 2 years. And while he has made an amazing comeback story- he does not want to be known for it. While these stories have very much shaped us and our direction, they are not who we are.

It seems with all of these stories, and their incredible amount of supporting media, it is easy to get trapped into them saying ‘I have this, so I am this’. They have this so they are that. But there is so much more that creates each of us. So what if you have wrinkles? So what if you do not have the perfect shape? Are you working on yourself? Are you kind? I think it is easy for us to look at the media and narratives around us and think - I could not be that beautiful. I would never be able to be successful because of ‘X’. Well- why not? Have you tried?

Quitting Before You Fail

A few years ago I heard a podcast about quitting before you fail. My mouth dropped open. How many leaders tell a child or young person ‘it’s okay, it’s too hard, you don’t have to do it’. Now I am not talking about torturing people. But how much are we training young kids that it is completely okay to give up on something they want or will help them?

For example, one time I was talking to someone about a business idea and suggested some social media and Facebook ads. This person immediately gave me ten reasons why it would not work. Okay maybe, some of the reasons mentioned were valid- but I asked them how to do you know until you try? Quitting is not the same as failing and I think it is often confused as the same thing. And I think quitting on something you want, something that would benefit you is just that- quitting.

Perhaps you have tried to have good pictures, perhaps you have tried to start a business and in your mind failed at both. But other people have had success- and I don’t know a single person that has aced anything their first time. So if you really want it, change up your strategy and try again.

I think we need to give ourselves more credit and more opportunity. Consider for a moment how your life would be different if you said yes just 10% more often instead of no. So what if you fail the first, second or third time. If you dig deep enough plenty of people have failed…lived and did it again to success.

“I know I’m somebody cause God don’t make no junk”

This was one of my favorite quotes when I was younger and it has stuck with me. Hopefully a few of the logical approaches from above would help you find something to start with in regards to feeling worthy. I would offer from my personal experience when I started to say ‘why not me’ or yes’ and being okay to failure (or some call it learning) my world really opened up. I learned what I was capable and worthy of- and am still learning. Then as the quote mentions- good day or bad, mistakes or triumphs, not so good in the mirror or amazing- you are worthy now. You are ‘somebody, cause God don’t make no junk’.