Confidence in One Step

I have long thought I should write a book titled “Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from Raising a Child With Autism”. That is especially true for learning to take one step.

So if we are just meeting, I have a couple kids in different areas of the autism spectrum and they both have different skill sets. Like us- they have alot to learn, it just looks different from your normal kid at times.

In particular my son has had quite the long list of things to learn. I think the fun part is when he does them- we cheer like crazy. While not the main point of this blog post I will add that autism has taught me to celebrate the little things in life- like crazy.

Anyway… we have had to figure out alot with my son. We have had to figure out how to help him communicate. We have had to figure out how to get through 2 hours of church with him. We have worked with him just to go down a play ground slide. I think you get the idea that I could go on with an endless list here.

I remember hearing from some autism resource that these kids have a skill set. You don’t take a kid that cannot swim and through them in the deep end and hope they will make it. You take steps. You get them okay being in the water. You help them learn to put their face in the water. You help them learn to kick. You help them learn to stroke. There are many steps we should all take before being thrown in the deep end.

I think the struggle here is that generally we look at life like a deep end. We look at a successful business owner and say there is no way I could do that. We look at all that is required for becoming a medical doctor and think- I’m out. We look at someone famous or rich and think I could never do that.

The truth that I love- and is often hidden. Is you are not seeing an overnight success. There were lots of little steps, and if we are honest lots of falls for that success to happen.

So we started learning with my son to take small steps. For example many of the kids on the spectrum have some strong food preferences. And many of the kids on the spectrum are also sensitive - to foods they love. We had a goal to get my son off of gluten. We had tried going cold turkey (off to the deep end) and after 2 days he just stopped eating. The doctor told us to just give up.

Fast forward about a year later and I overheard an autism professional say he has never seen a kid on the spectrum make large gains without a diet change. I told my husband we needed to try again. But this time it was going to be different. For instance I took one of the gluten foods my kid was on. I purchased a gluten free option and didn’t say anything. I had the food on the counter and available. After that I had the food on the table during a meal. After that some time I had the food on his plate with something I knew he would eat. I never said a word. If he did not eat it we would try a few times, or try a different gluten free option. We repeated this constantly until he was off gluten and casein completely. Minor bonus here- he was sleeping through the night instead of waking up all the time.

Confidence Success Comes in Steps

That aside we had success when the steps were manageable. We had success when we removed some of the expectations of our final goal. We were not focusing on our desired outcome- just one step at a time. And we were open to doing it differently. Most people I know of that do an autism diet change- did not do it like this.

This has been a game changer for me building up to things. No longer do I put down the camera because I don’t have confidence to think one day my pictures will be in Vogue- actually as of this writing I have been denied by them twice. But instead I can concentrate on the smaller steps. I have been in smaller magazines. I have had some amazing commercial opportunities come up this year- that will be so exciting to celebrate once they are final. Each experience has built on the next and given me the confidence to go on to the next step. Like I said in the last blog post the confidence has come after, and propelled me to my next adventure.

What is your next first step?